Supporting a child who has lost their parents

Losing a parent is an immense ordeal at any age. Children grieve in their own way, differently from adults.

What a child may feel

Sadness, anger, fear of being abandoned again, guilt (“it's my fault”), but also moments when they play as if nothing had happened. All of this is normal. Young children may also go back to “little kid” behavior (wetting the bed, wanting to be carried).

How to help

• Tell the truth in simple words. Avoid “he went away on a trip” or “she's sleeping”: these images are unsettling and keep the child waiting for the parent to come back.
• Welcome all their emotions, without asking them to be “strong.”
• Keep familiar routines: regular schedules, school, activities. Routine is reassuring.
• Talk about the parent who died, and keep photos or mementos, if the child wants to.
• Reassure them that they will be looked after: who will take care of them and where they will live.
• Let them still be a child: playing, laughing, having friends.

The role of the community

An orphaned child needs stable, caring adults around them. Every visit, every moment shared, every act of kindness counts: this is what Visite aux Orphelins is all about.

If a child's sadness lasts several months or keeps them from living normally, it is a good idea to see a professional (a psychologist, doctor, or social worker).